How I went from thinking astrology was bullshit to being a full-on believer
The least Leoish Leo you've ever known.
Growing up, the only things I knew about astrology were 1) that it was entirely made up and 2) probably the work of demons. Part of my rationale for believing this was due to the religion I was brought up in, the other part was that I was a Leo, and every description I’d ever read of Leos sounded like the polar opposite of who I was.
Stereotypical descriptions of Leos include wanting to be the center of attention, being obsessed with fashion, wearing flashy clothes, being highly dramatic, attention-seeking, and being bright, bubbly, positive, social butterflies who are well-liked by all who meet them.
Growing up I was the quietest, most introverted, cynical, depressed, gothic, agoraphobe who wore the same three generic, all-black outfits every day. You can’t get further from a Leo than that. So clearly, I was confident that astrology was entirely bullshit.
One of the first few times I did ayahuasca, it took me through the time period before I was born into this life. I was re-experiencing my soul choosing the exact moment to be born while perched at the edge of the universe. I was watching the planets move, and occasionally saw beams of light zip across the sky, forming geometric patterns between the planets.
My only understanding during this vision was that I had to pick the exact right time to jump. I didn’t know what I was waiting for, I just knew I would somehow know when the right time was. When the light beams formed a triangle, I somehow knew that was my signal to jump. So I jumped from what seemed like a doorway of one dimension into another, and then suddenly I was in a body, screaming, under searing white lights in a hospital room.
That was only one small experience in a 6-8-hour long ayahuasca journey, so as interesting as it may sound, it didn’t particularly stand out in comparison to every other wild-ass thing I saw that night. And at this point in my life, I didn’t associate anything I saw with the planets or the geometry as being related to astrology, because I knew nothing about it outside of being a Leo.
Fast-forward to several months later when I met someone from Twitter who’d asked if I’d ever seen my astrological birth chart before. I didn’t even know what that was. When she showed it to me, I immediately got the chills and then had a flashback to my ayahuasca experience. It looks like this:
I asked the girl what the hell this was and she explained a birth chart is a snapshot of exactly where the planets were in relation to each other at the moment of your birth. I didn’t tell her, “I’ve seen this exact triangle with my own eyes from space!” like I wanted to, because I was still trying to seem normal at that point in my life. But internally, I made a note to myself to figure out what that triangle meant and what reasons I might want to choose to be born during a triangular configuration.
More months went by. I forgot to look into the triangle thing. Another friend asked what sign I was and I said, “Leo, but I don’t think it’s right because I’m the opposite of a Leo.” She asked for my birth info, looked up my chart, and was like, “Ohh, it’s because you’re a Scorpio rising.” She explained that your rising sign is like your avatar, how you appear to others, how you move through life, etc. and often, people identify more strongly with their rising sign than with their sun sign.
When I read about what Scorpios was like, it was the most me-thing I’d ever read. I started learning more about how to read birth charts and as I did, I was stunned at how eerily accurate the information was. I eventually learned that the triangle I was born under is actually called a “trine,” and is one of the most beneficial planetary aspects you can have in your chart.
Astrology is a huge topic to learn about. In some ways, it feels like studying medicine or something. There are so many layers that it’s impossible to learn it all even after a few years of intense study. I’ve been studying it for five years now and I’m just now getting to the point where I feel comfortable reading peoples’ charts. The idea of ever reducing it down to a horoscope for your Sun sign feels like the biggest waste of time in the world. There’s maybe like a 1% chance that reading your horoscope for your Sun sign will even be correct at all.
In my years of learning, I’ve found several reasons why a person may not identify with their sun sign. No matter what sign you are, I think this will give you added context. First, you have to consider what house your sun is in. My sun is in the 10th house, which is ruled by Capricorn, so while my Sun is in Leo, it has a Capricorn flavor to it. Capricorn is also very non-Leo-like, which would explain why I struggle to identify with that energy. If anything, I definitely feel like more of a Cap-Leo hybrid than just a Leo sun.
I’ve seen this be extremely true for others, as well. My last boyfriend was a Leo sun, but in the second house, which is ruled by Taurus, and he had a super chill, stable Taurus vibe. I also have a friend who’s a Cancer sun in the 6th house, which is Virgo’s house, and she’s extremely particular and organized in classic Virgo fashion.
The expression of your sun sign is highly dependent on what house it’s in and any aspects it’s making to other planets in your chart. So if you have some challenging aspects, that can also alter how you express your sun sign. The point is, astrology isn’t bullshit, it’s just not as simple as your sun sign summing up the entirety of your being when it’s only like 1/12th of who you are.
Anyway, astrology is something that’s become surprisingly important to me in the last few years. The deeper I’ve gone with it, the more it’s greatly enriched my life and helped me accept the parts of myself that I always assumed should be changed. It’s also helped me learn how to navigate my life in a way that isn’t as torturous as the first half was.
Society gives us a narrow idea of what life should be like and I’ve never operated well under that. Living in alignment with what my chart says is best for me has felt like the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced.
Anyway, look up your birth chart (must include the exact time you were born or this won’t work) and see what house your sun is in. Then look below and see what sign rules that house. Google “[that sign] characteristics” and I bet it’ll sound pretty familiar. I mean, unless you have some other weird shit going on. I’m like 80% sure this will be accurate for you though.
1st house = Aries; 2nd house = Taurus; 3rd house = Gemini; 4th house = Cancer; 5th house = Leo; 6th house = Virgo; 7th house = Libra; 8th house = Scorpio; 9th house = Sagitarrius; 10th house = Capricorn; 11th house = Aquarius; 12 house = Pisces