Just as I was starting to feel an upswing in my life, like the tides were turning, like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’d soon be back in the United States, things took a turn. A few potentially exciting things fell through and then I got salmonella poisoning so severe I thought I had ebola.
There is no way around it, Mexico is my ninth circle of hell. If you’re not familiar with Dante’s Inferno, the ninth circle is the worst one. The souls who go there are trapped under a lake of ice, never to escape. Similarly, there is something about this place that feels like it’s trapping me and magnetizing all of the worst possible experiences to me.
There is a branch of astrology that I was only loosely aware of prior to my move, called astrogeography (also known as astrocartography). Basically, there are planetary lines that run across the globe and they hold certain energies and they are different for everyone depending on the time you were born. When you go to those places, you are surrounded by that energy and it can make a place feel extra amazing or extra terrible.
It turns out that the lines I am living on here in Mexico are Jupiter (the planet of expansion) and Pluto (the planet of death, destruction, and transformation), and when you combine those two energies you get A MEGA DOSE of destructive, near-death experiences, which is exactly what I’ve been living in for just over six months.
My whole life I’ve always had a very strong stomach. While I’ve had plenty of other health issues, I took pride in my incredibly reliable digestive tract and ability to rarely throw up or get ill from food. Somehow in Mexico, this has gone entirely out the window. I’ve had every type of parasite that exists and now a case of salmonella that completely leveled me. It’s been five days and I can still barely eat and am still throwing up. I didn’t even know that was a thing.
That’s not even the worst of it. There’s been so much worse. It’s been a neverending carousel of crises and breakdowns.
To sum things up, I’m living in my personal hellscape that only seems to attract more and more nightmares my way and my primary goal is to get out ASAP but the cost of rent has skyrocketed insanely all over the US and my income is more variable than ever due to freelance gigs. So yeah, feeling a bit trapped and desperate. And hungry, because I’ve developed a fear of eating virtually anything here since even seemingly “safe” foods have made me deathly ill.
I heard someone say recently that if you want something bad enough you have to be willing to shout it from the rooftops and put it out into the universe for everyone to hear. I think under normal circumstances, this would all seem a bit too private or embarrassing to talk about, but I feel very much past that. I just want out at literally any cost. My humility, my dignity, none of it matters in this nightmare I’m in. So, here it is:
📢 I want a more stable, reliable source of income and I want to move back to the US ASAP. Ideally, by mid-August as a birthday present to myself. I want to find a place to rent that’s safe and a relatively good deal (or at least not astronomically expensive). I want to get the fuck off my Jupiter and Pluto lines and either back on a positive line or at least in neutral territory.📢
End of wishlist.
Thanks for being here.